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Newsletter - September 2024

Water Under The Bridge

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We all know the saying “That’s water under the bridge” suggesting there’s nothing to be done about something any more. Perhaps there might have been something which could have been done about it some time ago, but that time has now passed. So the implication is we should just forget it and move on. However, we also likely know that, in the case of some things, that’s more easily said than done. This newsletter explores why that might be and whether there’s anything we can do about it.

 

Lao Tzu talks about water in his Tao Te Ching, but not in the context of bridges and whether or not water has flowed under them. Nonetheless I think we’ll find he has some relevant things to say. So let’s start exploring.

 

If water is the current of our everyday lives, there’s a very real sense in which we experience it flowing from tomorrow into today and then into yesterday. I guess that’s a long way of saying we experience time passing. We cannot make tomorrow come any sooner than it’s going to come anyway, and it’s not an option to drag yesterday back into today and think we can fix something about it that will somehow make today different (and presumably better).

 

Using the bridge metaphor, today is the bridge and we’re standing on it. If we look upstream, we can see tomorrow on its way. If we look downstream, we can see yesterday. To some degree it’s useful to see what’s coming and make plans as to how to influence or manage it when it reaches the bridge. But looking downstream at the past is different because there’s nothing we can do about it. It came. It went. It’s gone—except to the degree it lingers in our memories, and so still occupies our minds.

 

Perhaps we’ve reached the point where the bridge and water metaphor is getting a bit strained. After all, if we’re on the bridge then in what sense do we manage the water? We’re standing separate and apart (and dry) and the water’s just doing its thing. So, if that’s true, then why is it that sometimes we don’t let the water flow under the bridge?

 

Time for Lao Tzu to shed some light. Here he is talking about water but in a different way. He’s using it to describe how our thoughts often get in the way of seeing clearly. “Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving till the right action arises by itself?” (chapter 15). In this quote, it's as if water is the medium in which we live. And we live according to how clearly we can see. While thought may be useful sometimes, the quote suggests that at other times it’s as useless as mud—at least with respect to being able to see clearly.

 

I like Lao Tzu’s words. There’s no doubt we experience less stress and more peace when we can see clearly. And he suggests that patience is what it takes to see clearly. Trouble is we often don’t have time for that; which is another way of saying we don’t have the patience for it. Why not? I think it’s because patience is difficult. And it’s difficult because it involves letting go. And letting go is difficult because we like to control things—or at least to think we can.

 

Perhaps at this point I should say I’m speaking for myself. What I mean to say is that I know I cannot control my experience of life, but I do like to feel I can at least influence it. (And my guess is that most folks would agree with me.) And Lao Tzu would also agree with me by suggesting that one thing I can do is have the patience to wait until my mud settles and is the water is clear.

 

Okay. But how can the “right action” arise without my assistance? Will I recognize it if it wasn’t me that figured it out? His answer is to let it arise “by itself.” “Really?” say I, “My active involvement is not required?” No, not every time. Rather, my active involvement is exactly what tends to stir up the mud. “You mean in spite of all my good intentions all I’m doing is making it difficult for myself to see clearly?” say I. Yes, you certainly do that much of the time. “And how will I recognize the right action when I see it?” Trust me, you’ll know. “Trust who?” say I. Lao Tzu says “Open yourself to the Tao, then trust your natural responses; and everything will fall into place” (chapter 23).

 

Hmm, I’m not sure I like where this is going. I don’t know where I stand any more. I think I’ll get back on my bridge. At least I was dry while I was standing there!

 

So let’s be a bit gentler as we summarize. And we’ll give the bridge metaphor another one more try.

 

I think when we fail to let the water go under the bridge it’s as though we lower the bridge into the water while we’re standing on it. And what happens when we do that? You guessed. The water flows all over us and knocks us off balance. Think about it for a moment (just for the fun of it). If the bridge blocked the water, it would be a dam. If it became a dam, imagine how the water would build up. Do we really think we could hold it back? Okay now we’ve thoroughly worn out this metaphor!

 

So let’s dry off and see where we’ve come. I think we tend not to let water flow under the bridge because we somehow think we can still do something about it. Reality tells us we cannot, but that doesn’t stop us from trying. And what’s the result of our trying? Stress, frustration, regret, blame—who knows? But none of it sounds like anything we’d want in our lives. So here’s my take on it.

 

It’s worth looking to the future for long enough to see if there’s anything we can do to influence it. It’s also worth looking to the past for long enough to learn from our success (or lack of it) of our past influencing attempts. But the key phrase in both cases is “for long enough.” I believe that’s less long than we think it is. And, if we linger longer, that’s exactly when we start to stir up the mud.

 

And, when we do our looking, I think the key thing is the patience Lao Tzu refers to. After all, there’s a profound difference between thinking we can figure something out if we try hard enough and remaining “unmoving till the right action arises by itself,” isn’t there? I think the difference is trust.

 

That’s enough from me. What’s your take on all this? How much of this resonates with you? Do you feel you’re often on the bridge? If so, which way do you tend to face? How often do you feel you let the water flow under the bridge? Do you feel there are times when you cannot see clearly and find that thinking does nothing but stir up more mud?

 

If you have any thoughts you’d like to share, you can get in touch with me by:

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Thanks for reading. Please feel free to share this newsletter.

 

Francis

 

IN OTHER NEWS...

 

New book released - There Is No Somewhere Else: Insights from the Tao Te Ching was released on July 16, 2024. It's available as shown here.

 

First book - In Harmony with the Tao: A Guided Journey into the Tao Te Ching is available as shown here.

 

Synopses and reviews - for both books are on www.francispringmill.com

 

Past newsletters - www.francispringmill.com/newsletter-archive

 

If you have enjoyed my books and have a spare couple of minutes, I'd love it if you could leave an Amazon review so more people can discover them. (The customer review link for In Harmony with the Tao is here, and for There Is No Somewhere Else is here.)

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